- "What's the difference between love and sex? Safe sex exists."
- "She was a good wife, for a woman."
- "I am against marriage after sex."
- "The strangest place where I made love? My wife."
- "When I am dead, I want my wife to be cremated."
- "Marriage is not a medicine at all; it just tastes like one."
- "I'm not angry if my wife speaks to others. I'm angry if she speaks to me."
- "Engagement: Attempted marriage, punishable by wife."
- "I also cried at my wedding, but 2 years later."
- "Marriage is teamwork: 2 teams."
- "To be or not to be? Just don't get married."
- "Sex is different from love: in sex, experience counts."
- "Women fake orgasms. Men fake traffic jams."
- "Good women don't think prostitution is immoral, just unfair."
- "Loving is a matter of experience. The less you have, the more you'll love."
- "Why get married? Just gather 100 people you don't really like, and buy them dinner."
- "Don't pay for sex; many women can mistake it for love."
- "Women don't need a good reason to cry; they just need a good couch."
- "Alcohol causes about 20% of all divorces and about 40% of all marriages."
- "A woman's heart beats faster than men's. And it stops faster too."
- "Since women are like cats, I strongly suggest you marry a cat."
- "Menopause is the third cause of depression in women. The first in men."
- "A man shot his wife dead. The victim was 44, his wife was 36."
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